How to prepare for your aging parents
That uncomfortable moment inevitably comes when we realize our parents are aging. If we are lucky, our parents will remain healthy and independent throughout their lives. However, with an estimated 48% of people 65 and older requiring some form of paid long-term care services in their lifetimes1, it is wise to be prepared for a future in which they need help with activities of daily living. In this blog, we provide helpful guidance on initiating difficult conversations and getting prepared, so that your parents maintain maximum independence and you maintain maximum peace of mind.
1. Research Options for Senior Care
A helpful and low-stress way to get started is to research and familiarize yourself with options for senior care. Consider living arrangements like assisted living communities or facilities, nursing homes, or home-based care, which research shows most seniors prefer. Get familiar with the different levels and types of care like companionship, personal care, home health care, and private duty nursing (See: Top Options for home care in Bronx, Manhattan, and Brooklyn for a detailed breakdown). Research how much these different options cost– Genworth’s Cost of Care Survey is a great place to start.
2. Talk to Your Aging Parent(s) About their Needs and Desires
This is likely the hardest step. Few people want to acknowledge that there will come a time when they cannot be independent, and children often struggle to come to terms with this reality for their parent(s). But waiting is not advisable. Making decisions in times of crisis or in response to life-altering circumstances can be very stressful and highly charged for all parties involved. Consider when and where you might be able to have a relaxed conversation and approach the conversation with an open and supportive mind. See: How to talk to your aging parents about elder care, a step-by-step guide [insert blog link] for tips. Here are some prompts you could use to get the conversation going:
- While I am hopeful we won’t ever need it, I think it would be wise to have a plan in case there comes a time when you can’t live independently without additional help. Have you thought about what you might want your life to look like in this scenario?
- It’s not a concern now, but I’d like to have a plan in place in case there are ever any major changes in your health and your ability to live independently. Could we talk about and develop a plan together?
In addition to understanding their desires, you’ll want to communicate your desires and barriers as well. Perhaps your parents' ideal plan is to live with you and your family. For some families this would be an ideal progression, for others, this would be less than ideal or not possible because of space or personality conflicts. It is important to set expectations early and to make sure you are operating on the same page. Make sure you document the outcome of your conversation and that both you and your parents, and possibly a third party, have a copy so you can refer back to it if and when needed.
Finally, in your discussions, you’ll also want to touch on finances. If you don’t already know, you’ll want to understand if they have long-term care insurance, if they qualify for Medicare or Medicaid, VA benefits, or have other resources set aside for their later years
3. Create a Plan
In your plan, you’ll want to outline when care will likely be triggered. See our blog: When is the right time for in-home care [insert blog link] for additional advice on what to look for. You’ll want to outline preferred options for care whether facility-based or in-home, including specific facilities or agencies, if either you or your parents have identified preferred options. You’ll want to make note of payment plans and document any specific information about insurance plans, public benefits, etc. so that you have this information at the tip of your fingers when it is needed. You’ll also want to gather any legal documents that might be relevant and needed in a more extreme situation, such as a medical emergency. Finally, you’ll want to outline desired goals and outcomes that can later inform a care plan for your loved one.
In summary, to get ahead and plan for a stress-free future for your aging parents:
- Do your research and know the options
- Talk to your parents early and gather the necessary information
- Agree on a plan and document it!
Whether you are ready to begin researching options and need expert advice, or your parents are ready for in-home care, cooperative Home Care Associates (CHCA) is here to support you and your parents along the journey. We understand how challenging this transition can be and are here to help you navigate care plans, payment options, and more. Give us a call at 718-993-7104 or visit us online at www.chcany.org.
